Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra

Liner Notes by Peter Jesperson

Techno-human combo, Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra’s new EP proves what many have only suspected – that a trip to the supermarket with Professor B. Miller and his robot sidekick, SPO-20, is waaaaay more fun than without.

First, allow me to point out that this may be the most practical record you’ve ever purchased. Buy now - Save Time AND Money! It comes complete with shopping list, price check reminder and guidance in answering one of life’s eternal questions: “Paper or Plastic?” Watch out Pinterest, the ideas that humans will get from this EP are numerous - Spray-on Water Skis, Cherry-Menthol Doritos, or throwing a birthday party surreptitiously IN a grocery store, just to mention a few.

But make no mistake - “P.Orch” (as they’re known to diehard fans) have a dark side too. In their universe even a shopping spree can have its share of harrowing moments. Witness the EP’s brutal opening salvo, “Silly rabbit, the other white meat.” Or, in “Paper or Plastic” where you can almost hear the vocalist seething as he spits out the words, “I don’t need either!” The imparting of hard-won wisdom is another bonus as Expiration Dates are dealt with conclusively:

It's been here for oh so long / the fruit changed and evolved
It has achieved sentience / Meet my pear, his name is Paul.

Musically speaking, what we have here are eight songs in 19:00, including one instrumental. A wonderfully rhythmic, smart and fun collection of electronica that references everything from Devo and the B-52s to the dry humor and monotone vocal delivery of Lambchop. The songs run from the heavy metal “Price Check” (as per Prof B, “easily the most rockin' song we've ever written”) to the sinister “Birthday Party” (“It's probably the first - and maybe last - use of party horns as instruments in a song. Finding ones with just the right tone was quite an adventure, but explaining to the people at the party store why we needed so many different kinds of blower horns was even better”). And if you listen closely to “Shopping List,” the music is built around a vintage Optigan loop that was out of tune and wonky (in a good way!).

That’s all for now. If you enjoy this EP half as much as I, then it’s safe to say I like it twice as much as you. And I hope this finds you well. Me? I’m off to the supermarket to pick up a keychain shaped like Winston Churchill’s head!

PETER JESPERSON
Twin/Tone Records Co-Founder
Former Replacements Manager
North Hollywood, CA
Fall 2018

JINGLE (2:36)
Silly rabbit, The other white meat, Taste the feeling, The San Francisco treat, Melts in your mouth not in your hands, The Breakfast of Champions, No more tears, Gimme a break, It has to be good, They're gggrreat. It keeps going and going and going. Can't remember anything, but that’s a jingle I can’t forget. You can’t beat the real thing. Never let them see you sweat. Sorry Charlie, It's a honey of an O, 57 varieties, Taste the rainbow, It's what's for dinner, Magically delicious, The quicker picker upper, A totally organic experience. Dangerously cheesy, Choosy moms choose, It's kid tested and mother approved. It keeps going and going and going. Can't remember anything, but that’s a jingle I can’t forget. You can’t beat the real thing. Never let them see you sweat.

SHOPPING LIST (2:18)
A gallon of milk, A loaf of bread, A key chain shaped like Winston Churchill's head. Popsicles, Microwave dinners, An archery kit for elderly beginners. You need a shopping list, Whoa oh oh, So you don't forget what you should get. Paper towels, A bag of ice, An escalator made for mice. Frozen pizza, Super glue, Spray-on water skis, Possum shampoo. You need a shopping list, Whoa oh oh, So you don't forget what you should get.

SHELF SPACE (2:31)
Jalapeño Doritos, Chocolate Chip Doritos, Mountain Dew Doritos, Mint Toothpaste Doritos. It doesn't matter if they do well. They were never designed to sell. They just exist to take up shelf space. Rows of flavors based on a dare. If no one buys them, they don’t care. They just exist to take up shelf space. Watermelon Doritos, Shrimp Scampi Doritos, Birthday Cake Doritos, Cherry-Menthol Doritos. It doesn't matter if they do well. They were never designed to sell. They just exist to take up shelf space. Rows of flavors based on a dare. If no one buys them, they don’t care. They just exist to take up shelf space.

EXPIRATION DATE (2:23)
I took a look at the bread, it was the wrong shade of green. Think it was crawling a little, that's not my kind of cuisine. Unless you have some kind of way to travel back in time, I bet the milk went bad back in 1989. Once you get home it is way too late. Did you check the expiration date? Did you check the expiration date? Did you check the expiration date? It's been here for oh so long, the fruit changed and evolved. It has achieved sentience. Meet my pear, his name is Paul. The phrase overripe is hype, means its already decayed. Sell by, best by, best before... not falling for it no way. Once you get home it is way too late. Did you check the expiration date? Did you check the expiration date? Did you check the expiration date?

PRICE CHECK (2:03)
Cashier on the intercom, don't worry sir, it won't be long. We're gonna need a price check. We're gonna need a price check. Technology failed me when they scanned the UPC. We're gonna need a price check. We're gonna need a price check. Anger on everyone's face. Want to find a hiding place. We're gonna need a price check. We're gonna need a price check. A price check, a price check, we're gonna need a price check. A price check, a price check, we're gonna need a price check. A price check, a price check, we're gonna need a price check. Patrons chanting “Put it back!” Feeling like I’m under attack. We're gonna need a price check. We're gonna need a price check. A price check, a price check, we're gonna need a price check. A price check, a price check, we're gonna need a price check.

PAPER OR PLASTIC? (2:21)
No bags for me at the grocery store. I'll just carry stuff out, it's no big chore. No bags for me, these dozen soup cans stack super snugly... six in each hand. Paper or plastic? I don't need either. Paper or plastic? I don't need either. No bags for me, not going that far. Gonna roll the fruit out to my car. No bags for me, slip the pie down my shirt. Hope my body heat won't melt tonight's dessert. Paper or plastic? I don't need either. Paper or plastic? I don't need either. Forgot my canvas bags, not sure where they are. Maybe at my house or in the trunk of my car. Stack 'em up pile 'em high, hope they don't drop. My audition for the circus every time I shop. Paper or plastic? I don't need either. Paper or plastic? I don't need either.

BIRTHDAY PARTY (2:35)
There aren’t a lot of seats, but they are open really late. There’s plenty of beverages, and tons and tons of cake. Produce rainstorms, and a shopping cart race. Entertainment is covered, we’ll have the run of the place. Birthday party at the grocery store. Birthday pa-pa-party at the grocery store. Birthday party at the grocery store. Birthday pa-pa-party at the grocery store. Sent out some invitations, meet by the Twinkie display. Just hop on the intercom to sing me happy birthday. They’ve got candles and balloons. No presents, please. We might get kicked out, but hey it’s all free. Birthday party at the grocery store. Birthday pa-pa-party at the grocery store. Birthday party at the grocery store. Birthday pa-pa-party at the grocery store.